Darlings, I have startling news. Richard Simmons is my half-sister! I know. I can hardly believe it either. But, if this picture isn’t proof positive, I don’t know what is (in all seriousness, wasn’t that Oprah story ugh-maziiiing?!).
Family secrets aside, we had the best weekend ever with friends who were in town and visiting for the weekend. And one of the many highlights was a visit to Slimmons, Richard Simmons’ exercise studio right here in the heart of Beverly Hills. I couldn’t wait to go — and had been planning a visit before we even moved to LALA Land. My friend Melissa was the best companion, always up for a good time. And a good time we had indeed (hello, nice to meet you Understatement of the Century).
The class was jam-packed with every imaginable shape, size, age, color and fitness level, from hipsters and cheerleader choreographers decked out in their finest American Apparel to chair-bound silver foxettes. There was even a woman who had lost 130 pounds with no surgery whatsoever (so inspiring!). The class was so jam packed (with the nicest people) that we all constantly bumped into each other as we jumped Jacks, shimmied and thrusted our pelvises (pelvi?) skyward in imperfect unison to Britney Spears beats.
And while the workout was surprisingly intense, with a flower-print legging-clad Richard Simmons shouting as we crunched our flabby abbies “What did you put in those stomachs last night, refried beans?! I smell fajitas,” the best ab workout came from laughing continuously for nearly two hours. It was like a daytime rave meets comedy show meets workout. Can you smell my endorphins?
Richard Simmons is a peach — fantastically flamboyant, friendly and fierce. When dearest hubby K and our friend Jon walked in after class to join us for the picture-taking portion of class (Sir Simmons insists you snap photos with him or he will cry and it is a blast!), he shouted at them “Who the eff are you?! You just walk in off the street, not even taking the class!” It’s not everyday you get to be beeyotch-slapped by Richard Simmons. My new BFF, dearest Ricardo Suave, later told me “Your husband is very sweet. And he loves you very much.” Before he licked my shoulder.
Incredibly, a class is only $12. I almost didn’t want to write about it, as I selfishly wanted to keep LA’s best kept secret to myself, but blabbing sharing is what I do, my darlings. I say grab your water bottles, your beach towels, your leg warmers and your bestie and you, too, can have Richard Simmons kiss your hand, pose for prom pics and sign your new hot pink Richard Simmons tee.